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Thursday, March 01, 2007
How Kordell Stewart and Roy Jones Jr. Get Their Jollies
Repeat readers of mine will know that I watch Spike TV.

Another show on Spike is Pros vs. Joes. I've only watch a few too-long minutes of it, but this show is pretty sad.

Essentially, PvJ is a more sports-focused version of American Gladiators. Instead of Turbo and Nitro and Laser, you actually have professional athletes. The Joes compete against the Pros in their native sport.

The Joes
In the past, I believe the Joes have been...well, just random dudes that sent in their VHS tapes and were deemed TV-worthy. Weekend warriors, and tough guys. Probably police officers and firefighters. From the commercials I've seen this season (Season 2), they have included a few episodes where the Joes are more "themed". I know they've had Sportscasters on, and they've had Coaches on.

The Pros
This is where it gets a bit sad. The Pros are mix of people in their prime, and people wwaaaaaaaayy past their prime who maybe still work out, so they are in decent enough shape. The sad part is that between regular workouts, and the pure experience that the Pros have, they still out-class the Joes. What's more, they're tired of sitting at home and watching the games on TV instead of actually being there, and they feel they have something to prove.

This Season's Pros (yanked from Wikipedia):

Red Team

Purple Team

Green Team

Teal Team

Blue Team

Yellow Team

Unsorted have guys who figure they are "in_shape" and pretty much ready for anything versus guys who have competed on the professional level, and feel like working up a sweat for a change.

Can you imagine?
Sparring with Roy Jones Jr. for 3 minutes?
Getting put in a Leglock by an Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Standing there while a Major League Soccer Star launches soccer balls at your chest?
Challenging Spud Webb to a 3-Point shootout?
Blitzing Kordell Stewart, or keeping tackling Andre Rison?

Not to mention the Peanut Gallery...while Roy Jones Jr. beats on you, Kevin Willis and Eric Dickerson stand there and talk about how fast he is.

It all adds up to a sad, sad opportunity for the Pros to beat up on some scrubs. Meanwhile, the Joes love it! They get to meet their idols! They're so star struck they can barely fight back.

Just sad.

Don't watch it. You'd be better off getting "Best of American Gladiators" on DVD.

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